


Beloved

by butterflyslinky



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Not Beta Read, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 15:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7228015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James reflects on Robbie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beloved

It’s a strange thing, this relationship. By all accounts, it should have been romantic long before they actually got there, but that would have destroyed them both. And as much as they love each other, they would never risk their careers for this.

 

But now...now that they’re equals, there’s less risk. Now that they’re equals, they can have it all.

 

Yet they’re not equals, not really. At least, not in this respect. They never really discussed it, but they fell into place easily. The lover, and his beloved.

 

James reflects, as he so often does in the wee hours when he can finally catch his breath, that when he and Robbie decided to try this, he never expected it to be so...energetic. Sure, they’re both fit men for their respective ages, but James didn’t think they were what people would call passionate.

 

Clearly, he was wrong.

 

That’s the thing about Robbie Lewis--he is not a man who does anything by halves. His opinions on people form within minutes of meeting them, and it’s rare that those opinions don’t hit some extreme. And whatever his opinion is, it always shows. Robbie could make anyone feel what he thought about them easily. His Disappointed Glare is still famous in the Oxfordshire Police Station.

 

When Robbie decides that he hates someone, it’s immediate and permanent. It doesn’t matter why he hates them, though Oxford Snobbery is a pretty common reason. Robbie will dislike that person to the day one of them died and they always know it, even through all of his cool professionalism.

 

But when Robbie loves, he loves with every fiber of his being. It’s rare that Robbie loves, though. James doesn’t know if he’s always been that way, though he suspects not. The death of his wife had badly shaken him, made him cautious about loving. He was in a dangerous business, and most of the people he knew were in that business with him. Falling in love again could only ever lead to heartbreak.

 

Then Laura had happened, and she pulled him out of that. She showed him it was all right to love again, that nothing bad would happen, especially once he’d retired. And James knows that Robbie loved her, still loves her, with a deep, unshakable passion hitherto unknown to man.

 

Maybe that was the problem. That passion, that deep, unshakable emotion, can be a bit much to handle. When it’s directed at someone Robbie hates, it’s easy to temper, though it will still spill out, still make suspects quake in their boots and wither under his gaze.

 

When that passion is directed at someone he loves, it’s stronger and harder to soothe.

 

James thinks that’s what did it for Laura in the end. Being at the receiving end of that could be overwhelming, could take a person apart and turn them into a trembling mess much faster than anything else. Neither James nor Robbie blames Laura for being unable to handle it. It was too much, far too much for her.

 

For James...well, he understands her point.

 

It didn’t take as long as it probably should have after Robbie and Laura broke up for Robbie to come to James. It didn’t take more than a day after that for them to admit that what they felt had been there since...well, years, anyway. James is fairly certain he had fallen in love with Robbie Lewis the moment they met, but for Robbie, it was a bit more recent than that.

 

So here they are, three months into their relationship, sharing a flat and a bed and pretty much everything except details of ongoing cases. And now James is the sole receiver of that passion. The beloved.

 

He burns under Robbie’s gaze, hazel eyes lighting a fire whenever they sweep over him. He writhes under Robbie’s hands, hot and frantic but clever and experienced. He gasps under Robbie’s lips, ghosting over his throat and collarbone, hot and cool in equal measures.

 

It almost scares him, sometimes, to be the sole focus of Robbie’s passions. Robbie never pushes him too far, nor is he ever unkind, but it’s still frightening in its way, to be so loved. James would call it suffocating--Laura certainly did--but he doesn’t feel like he’s choking. Suffocating like a cigarette as opposed to strangulation. Dangerous, will probably kill him one day, but soothing and thrilling in the same instant. Robbie is nicotine and alcohol and concerts and the adrenaline of a police chase all rolled into one and it’s so, so intoxicating. He overtakes all of James’s senses, leaving James breathless and begging and so, so overwhelmed…

 

But most importantly, he feels loved, more loved than he’s ever been in his life. Robbie may be excitement and adrenaline, but he’s also comfort and security. Their lovemaking is passionate and frantic, but the afterwards is soothing words whispered as they curl together under the blankets. It’s everything James imagined love to be and more.

 

It’s strange and exhilarating and overwhelming and frightening but overall so, so wonderful.

 

The lover, and his beloved.

 

James couldn’t ask for more.


End file.
